The Santa clause

I was talking to my friend, Daven, yesterday and we were discussing all of our"crazy" parenting ideas. Homeschooling, princesses, dress standards, etc.. Then I brought up Santa. Daven and I are similar minded when it comes to our child rearing ways, but we do differ a little on the Santa issue. I started in on my rant when I realized there was way too much to state in a simple email. I needed a platform entirely devoted to this particular box of soap. =)

There are things I like about Santa. Such as;

He is jolly, employs nice elves in a geographical location where I am sure there aren't many job opportunities, has stuck with the same woman for quite some time, likes milk, rewards good behavior (very morally sound), and he showed the mean reindeer that even though Rudolph was different he had a very special purpose.

However, it is a big lie. This probably the biggest problem I have with Santa.

I know he takes away from the real meaning of Christmas which is, of course, Christ. I also know that there are people that celebrate that time of year who are not Christians and it is perfectly fine for them. I'm not condoning their unbelief but I also know that as much as we try not everyone will be converted. So there is something out there to make them happy for a season.

So here is Santa - "If you be good there will be a fat guy in a red suit that slides down our chimney and gives you presents and we leave him milk and cookies. How does he get here? He flies through the sky in a sleigh pulled by reindeer. Well, I don't know how he gets the sleigh to fly. No we can't try to make a sleigh fly. They're kind of like regular deer but different. No you can't slide down the chimney. I know Santa can, but you can't. Yes, he goes to every good little boy and girls' house in the world. Yes, even Africa. Yes, even Australia. Yes, even Fran - ev-er-y-where! I don't know how fast he has to go. Well, if Bobby doesn't have a chimney then Santa just gets in some other way. No, Bobby's dog won't bite him. If Sarah is poor and doesn't have milk it's ok. Yes, if she was good she'll still get presents. No, if someone leaves their fireplace burning it won't hurt him."

Wow! That's a lot of explaining. And for what purpose? So the kids will "be good"? I have an idea. How about the kids "be good" because they know right from wrong. I don't know how many times I hear parents say,"You had better do what Mommy says or Santa won't bring you presents." So what do you do when the child realizes there is no Santa? Then what do you bribe the child with for good behavior? To me, behavior is nonnegotiable.

I also feel some sort of underlying connection between adolescent ungratefulness and Santa. Kids have asked Santa for things and received because Santa has checked them on the "nice list". When all along it was actually their parents doing the deed. In those young developmental years we have taught them that someone else is getting those neat toys for them, thus turning their gratitude away from the true givers. That may sound a little far fetched, but it still makes sense, no?

And what about when the child realizes that there is no Santa? You have to explain to them why you lied to them. And why did you lie? Hmmm... To get your way as a parent? Because it was fun? Because someone lied to you about the same thing as a child? And if Johnny jumped off a cliff would you too? As a child when I lied I got more punishment than for the wrong that was hidden in that lie.

I don't want to make someone feel bad for letting their children believe in Santa. After all, we did Santa and I turned out ok... =) It is a personal choice just as it is my choice to not promote it in my house. I am also not going to go around telling little children that the big red guy is fake nor will my children - I hope! I won't trash Santa to them. If asked, my response might go a little something like this, "Santa Clause is a fun person that some people believe brings them presents at Christmas."

I hope this sheds some light on my "Anti-Santa" ways. And I hope yo don't think I'm as crazy as you thought I was when you read the first part of this post! What are your thoughts on Santa?

7 whole weeks

Off the chain!!

I am not thrilled about a recent trend in Facebook. Not Facebook itself, but the users.

Chain letter statuses.

You know them:

"If you love God and are not ashamed..."

"If you love your kids..."

"If you support our troops..."

And the list goes on.

Then it turned a twist to the mocking side:

"If you know and idiot..."

I'll be honest, my sarcastic self was aching to repost this one! But I refused. Why? Thanks for asking! #1 I couldn't bring myself to repost a chain letter/status and #2 I don't think it is idiotic to love God, your kids and support our troops. Even though I don't prefer the methods used I couldn't mock the ones expressing the above.

I really think that these are a good tool to mix up our status posts a little bit. By that I mean that we are all (myself included) so self-absorbed in our status posts that it's nice to see a person posting about someone that is important in their life other than self. Although it is easy to post about yourself when the very first words you see are your first and last name, it is equally refreshing to see something different.

The biggest problem I have with this is how fake it seems. It is preformatted expression. I have big issues with this. I sometimes come off as unappreciative because I don't want to come off as the opposite. You know, thanking someone as a formality. I hate this so much that I want to make every "Thank You" genuine. That can get me in trouble because in trying to make it meaningful, I sometimes let my procrastinate side overcome me and no gratitude is expressed at all. But the genuine gratitude is my goal.

For example:

Don't you think your kids would feel more special if your status said this?

"I had an awesome morning with my kids even if it was just talking over a bowl of cereal. I am so thankful for them!"

A consistent form of "shout outs" from the heart would seem so much more meaningful to me. That is not to say that these people do not love God, kids and troops. That is not my place to judge. It just seems less sincere. As I said earlier, I try to avoid appearing insincere so I do not post such things.

I won't even go into the colors, birthdays and weather reports that are running rampant nowadays. Yikes!

So will you strive, with me, to be sincere in our appreciation? To avoid situations that would make us appear as less than genuine? What would the world be like if we all really, truly meant what we said and not for any self-gain or appearance? Let's give it a try!

Growing big!

Last night I needed to dash out of the nursery really quick to find the pacifier (another story) so I laid Aspen down in her crib. She isn't sleeping in her crib yet, but it was a good place to stash her for a quick minute without disturbing Jerrad. I laid her on her stomach because for some reason she doesn't throw up when she's on her tummy. She fussed for about 45 seconds as I was frantically looking for the pacifier. Then she got quiet. I thought she was just taking a breather but when I went to check her, she was fast asleep. I gave her about 10 minutes to wake up then I would get her back to sleep and put her in her bassinet. She never did, so I let her sleep there. She slept so good that after her next feeding I put her the same way and she put herself back to sleep again. I just put her down for a nap and she did it again!

You have no idea how relieved I am that she is doing this. No, don't get me wrong, I love nursing my baby and rocking her to sleep as she does her little baby "huffs" but I don't want her to be dependent on it. I think you know what I mean!

And the pacifier... oi!

We didn't want to use a pacifier at all but when she started throwing up I was desperate for something! When she had the pacifier it was a constant sucking/swallowing action that helped keep food down. Not a cure all, but an aid, so we started it. But since she has been putting herself to sleep we don't use it and I hope to not have to!

So she had her first night in her crib! She's been napping in her crib from time to time, but never at night. I was scared to put her in there just yet and we were hoping to have her in the bassinet a little longer. We may still, after all this one night may be a fluke (I sure hope it isn't though!). But she is also getting close to being to big physically for the bassinet! Yikes!

Oh, and she's 6 weeks old today!

Which should mean that I'm going back to work on Monday, but with her vomiting I am going to stay home another week. And seeing as there are Bluebirds in my windbreak, I think I need to get my Christmas tree down! To-da-loo!

Aaah, a shower!

What a wonderful thing! Aspen has been pretty needy lately so if I can't do something with her in my arms, then it doesn't happen. I have had great intentions of getting up at 6:30 each morning this week to get us into a schedule for when we go to work, but at that time of the day I just want to sleep. Our nights have been long and our days have been tough. She cries a lot and I don't have the guts right now to discern whether it is physical or emotional needs that need to be met. Since her body is throwing her for a loop right now I just give in most of the time.

It seems like every time I lay her down, I scurry to get myself something to eat then try accomplish something on my list when she wakes up crying. I want to let her cry it out, but she just gets more hysterical as the time goes on. Her hysteria sends her into vomiting (not that vomiting is difficult for her since her stomach valves aren't working right) and then I get scared that she'll choke on it. Not to mention it's a Worst Mother of the Year award for making your 5 week old daughter "cry it out" while laying in her own vomit.

Jerrad gets home and we try to spend some time together as a family but it's usually just a tag team effort to get her calmed down and/or asleep. Last night she didn't want to sit still so Jerrad was walking laps in the house with her and singing to her. Then we went downstairs to eat and Jerrad had her while I hurried through my supper. Since they were stationary she was ticked. So Jerrad turned on the music on the Xbox and we hit the low point of my day: my daughter likes Dwight Yoakum.

While Jerrad was eating, I took Aspen upstairs and bathed her. We went back downstairs and I nursed her while we watched a movie. She went to sleep fairly quickly and stayed that way. She didn't even vomit until after the movie was over and went back to sleep soon thereafter. So I took her upstairs and put her in her bassinet. She stayed asleep for about 20 minutes then went into immediate hysteria. It was a whole new cry and it scared me. I picked her up and tried to hush her to a calm, but it was NOT working. I took her to the nursery and rocked her a while and she went back into a deep sleep. I took her into the bedroom and put her down in the bassinet and immediate hysteria. I picked her up and got her calm again then decided to put her in bed with me. This sometimes helps in the daytime, but not last night. She wanted to be held completely and nothing less. I took her downstairs and we slept in the recliner for a couple of hours then went back to bed with her in her bassinet. After that she slept great! She went to sleep initially at midnight and woke up at 7:00 this morning! But Momma didn't get anything solid until 3:00 or so. Oh well, she seems to be doing well so far today.

We went to the doctor on Monday about this vomiting that is happening with almost every feeding. He said that at this age a problem can show up where the top stomach valve is weak and the bottom one is tight. Making things not pass very easily but also making it come up too easily. As long as she is still gaining and her stools remain yellow she'll outgrow it and we'll all be ok. We were given a prescription for some medicine but were very skeptical about giving prescription meds to a 5 week old. I gave in and tried a dose then 5 minutes later she vomited. While waiting for the next scheduled dose I did more research on the drug and decided immediately to stop it.

We are monitoring her stools and weight. Jerrad found his digital fish scale and we use it. Her bouncy seat weighs 5 lbs 1 oz and has a bar over the top. We tare the scale with the bouncy seat, then put her in and pick it up. Yes, we are rednecks!

It's not been glamorous or even ideal, but she is still amazing! She loves her bath, her green blanket from Steve and Liana, and without a doubt loves her Daddy! Well, if you'll excuse me, there is a baby needing held and I must oblige her! =)

2010 Resolution

I made a few new year resolutions last year and didn't do too bad with them, so I'm back to do it again. This year I will just do one. It's been on my heart a lot lately and it's going to be a big one. It will take constant attention and scrutiny on my part. And for those of you that I have been around even before I realized I was doing it, I apologize.

This year I resolve to be positive, encouraging and genuinely interested in others. I have been noticing lately that most of my dialogue in conversation is negative. Everything is about how inferior something else is. In doing so, it is all about me and how I want to appear superior.

Neither of those is true. In God's eyes I am just as much of a sinner as the rest of the world. I am on an equal playing field. He had to save me the same way He saved everyone else. By trying to appear superior I imply that I am closer to perfection than others. Wrong again! I am on the opposite end of the spectrum as perfection.

I watch people in my life that I truly love to be around and I notice that they are these things.

Positive - Not degrading others.

Encouraging - Trying to make another person feel better.

Interested in others - Asking questions to know the person on a more intimate basis.

One thing I have come to realize in my life from so called friends and even family members is this: If someone is willing to degrade others to you, they are more than likely degrading you to others. Except I always feel shocked when I found out that my "confidants" were doing this. I felt betrayed by, in the simplest, ugliest term, gossip. (<--- That is such an ugly word!)

I hope that this will make me more enjoyable to be around, help my outlook on life, and make my home a haven for my husband, daughter and other children to come.

So here goes 2010. May it be a positively great year for all of us!